Wisdom of a Young Wife

I haven’t shared much about my daughter’s wedding because there isn’t much to share.  She and her sweetheart were married in San Antonio while he was in Air Force Tech School.  It was a very small affair, with only a few of his classmates in attendance.  There will be a traditional ceremony eventually, perhaps on their first anniversary, when both families will gather to celebrate their union.  Hopefully, by then her parents will be in a better financial position to fund the occasion.

She stayed about a month in San Antonio, then returned home for the remainder of the summer to wait for him.  They left in September for Great Falls, Montana where he will be stationed for the next few years.

She calls me nearly every day to talk about everything and nothing.  I hear all about their trips to state parks, trips to the video store, furniture shopping, their dinner menu, and both sides of their petty arguments and major disagreements.  Apparently, her husband trusts me to be unbiased, because he’ll have her call me to help settle a dispute.  Not that they fight a lot.  Usually, it’s a minor difference of opinion that gets blown out of proportion.

In one particular instance, she didn’t share with me what they weren’t seeing eye-to-eye on, just that she happened to be proven right.  She said she told him, “Baby, when I say something and it sounds like I know what I’m talking about, you need to listen.”

Wise words indeed.

At least we’re making progress

Everyone who knows me knows that I have been praying for quite a while about a certain situation with a certain daughter, and most of you have been praying on my behalf for a resolution.  I’ve also expressed my hesitation to get my hopes up at the slightest hint of change, because what usually happens isn’t what I’d expected.  However, I thought I should share with you the most recent development in that ongoing saga because, my friends, prayers are being answered!

Last week about this time, I spoke with the dad-who-will-not-intervene about the daughter-who-will-not-call and asked him once again if he would make the girl call her mother.  I was surprised to find out that he had already (so he said) “had this conversation with her” and that he had warned her that she would find herself living with her mom if she didn’t start doing what she was told.  (Here’s where we pray that he runs out of patience.)

Seriously though, who knew the change we’ve been praying for would be in his heart?  Praise God!

He said if she doesn’t call me, he’ll take her phone (that should put the fear in her.)  I suggested that maybe he shouldn’t let her go anywhere with friends unless she calls me first.  Then I thought if he’d already threatened to send her to me, maybe he’d be willing to follow through.  So I asked if he would, and he actually said that if he was unable to reach her, he’d be coming after her!  (On the other hand, he also said that he didn’t want to make it seem like living with me would be punishment, like I care at this point how she sees it.)

So here’s where we stand:  If she starts calling me, I will have contact with her.  If she doesn’t, I will go get her, and this time, her dad won’t be backing her up (if he meant what he said.)  The best part is I’m no longer fretting over whether she returns my calls or not.  And to be honest, I’m kinda hoping she doesn’t.

Although the issue isn’t fully resolved yet, I am gaining ground – and patience, and for that I am ever so thankful.

Behold, what manner of love

While poking through my unpublished posts, I found this little gem.

Ya know what blows my mind? Ya know I’m gonna tell ya anyway. : )

It’s this: when my child pushes the limits of my sanity, oversteps boundaries, breaks the rules, or gives me reason to escort her to the gates of the city to have her stoned (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) – that is when my heart is most tender towards her. Though I may be angry, disappointed, discouraged, hurt, or all of the above; what I feel most is compassion.

And so it is with God, in that while we were deserving of hell, Christ died for us.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.        1 John 3:1 (NIV)

Family Portrait

That’s me, posing as the mom, Hubster posing as the dad, and the kids. . . well, you get the picture.

A Novel Gift Idea – WMFW

Edited to add:  Please don’t forget to visit Shannon at Rocks in my Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas. 

Hello, blog friends!  I’m only popping in just now to ask a favor of all of you, but I hope to return to the blogworld after things around here calm down.  Daughter #1 is getting married, daughter #2 is here for the summer, and I’m up to my eyeballs in real life.  I’ll catch you up on the details later.

Right now, as a bridal shower gift for daughter #1, I’m putting together a book for the bride and groom entitled “Advice for Newlyweds from People Who Aren’t Your Parents.”

I’m asking friends (including you, my blog friends) and family to share some helpful advice for either the bride or the groom or for the couple – whether it be your own wisdom or something someone shared with you that has proven to be invaluable.  You will  be given credit for anything you share, so if it isn’t your own, please cite your source.  It can be a quote, scripture, serious, humorous, things to avoid (like putting toilet tissue upside down on the holder), things you must do (like save money), a sentence, or a paragraph – anything you feel is worthy of passing along to a young married couple.  I’d like to have a balanced perspective, so it would be wonderful if both spouses gave their input.

If you feel comfortable doing so, please use your real name and location (first name only and state only are fine.) 

Thanks for your participation!

Yet Another Reason I Don’t Make Plans

By now you would think I’d have learned not to get my hopes up. So many times I have made plans only to have them change at the last minute. It can be frustrating, especially if you’re the type who doesn’t like flying by the seat of her pants. Since that’s the way I do most things, it’s a rare occasion that I actually do have a game plan, and once in a while it would be nice to have it work out. There’s something to be said for spontaneity, for sure, but come on. Can’t a gal get a break?

We postponed our trip to Arkansas to get Sarah, so I didn’t get to spend her birthday with her, and she missed out on Christmas day with us. Instead we went the following weekend and had Christmas with extended family at my mom’s. Sarah was there for that, but we couldn’t get her to come home with us for the last week of her winter break, even though we promised to have her back by the weekend. Her reason? She just doesn’t like Georgia.

She seems to think that by refusing to come here, she can force me to go there. So far it has worked. But no more. I mean who’s in charge here?

Oh, I’m not really complaining. I know all too well that I’m not in charge. Thank God!

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19:21

After that last act of defiance, I decided that I would wait for her to ask me to come see her, and I’m thinking that my answer will be “Well, I don’t really like Arkansas.”

Okay, maybe not, but I wonder how else she’ll realize that it’s not the best excuse. It’s not even a good one.

So, on to bigger and better things.

I haven’t shared with you that back in October, Lindsey and I attended a tent revival at the First Baptist Church down the street, which led to my joining that church a few weeks later. I’m lovin’ my ladies’ Sunday school class. And Bible study on Sunday evenings. And singing in the choir. It’s good to be home finally!

After choir rehearsal last Wednesday evening, we held officer elections, and I was “elected” alto representative. That should be interesting.

This morning after Sunday school, my teacher stopped me and said she thought I would be good teacher material. She asked me to consider leading the class from time to time.

I’m very excited about that! Lindsey asked if it meant that I wouldn’t be preaching at home so much since I’d have another outlet. Funny girl.

What it does mean is that I will be sharing what I’m learning with you, my faithful readers. It also means that once again, I have received confirmation that there is a very good reason for me to stay put.

Thank you for stopping by. Have a blessed week!

It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

We decided this year to buy a pre-lit artificial Douglas fir rather than hassle with a live one. Lindsey said “Aww, I’m gonna miss the smell of a real tree.” And that got me to thinking. We could use pine-scented car air fresheners as ornaments!

She didn’t love the idea (too white trash for her taste), but she did agree that it would be fun to do just for photos – then we’d take them off and hang the real ornaments. So we went out last night and bought the tree. And a 3-pack of air fresheners. Yes we did.

After setting up the tree, I opened one of the air fresheners and hid it in the branches. One is enough, y’all. Our whole house smells like pine, only not overpowering like it would be in the car. So what started as a joke actually turned out to be a pretty good idea. (Works-for-me-Wednesday, anyone? Stop by Shannon’s for more great holiday tips!)

Since I stopped at one “ornament” we didn’t take any photos, but I will have some photos of the real decorations to post later. Hopefully, it won’t be too late for the Tour of Homes.

I’m going to Arkansas tomorrow to bring Sarah back for winter break, and we’ll be spending Christmas at home for the first time ever! Carl and I are excited about having our children gathered around our table for Christmas dinner that we prepared in our own kitchen.

All we need now is one of these.

**Update**  Sarah called me late Wednesday night just as Lindsey and I were getting ready to go and said she’s not coming.  Her dad stands behind her decision.  Our trip has been cancelled.  Please, please pray for my child. 

Cell Phones and Teen Health

Studies show that cell phone usage may be hazardous to your health. Yeah, I know this is not news, but I find it interesting that of all the dangers mentioned here and in this article, as well as here, here, and here, there have been no warnings to teens about the hazards of excessive use of text messaging.  I know!  I’m outraged.

You’ve all seen the ridiculous warning labels they put on hairdryers, curling irons, and coffee cups.  Why are there no warning labels on cell phones?  I have half a mind to write to the manufacturers of these devices and demand action.

I’m thinking something like this might be an effective deterrent:  Warning!  Blatant disregard of plan limits is strongly discouraged.  Exceeding your minutes may have dire consequences, including, but not limited to, dismemberment and/or death, especially if your mother has already grounded you in the past for the same offense.  Now go to your room!  

Anticipating a Good Day

Tomorrow, I will be meeting with a claims adjuster to sign over the title of my car to my insurance company.  My 2005 Dodge Stratus, which we purchased in January, was totaled a week ago Monday when Teen #1 pulled into the path of an oncoming car.  She did stop, she just didn’t wait for the car to go by before going again.  She didn’t get a scratch on her, nor did the other driver, thank God.  Judging from the damage to the driver’s side door, she was spared by nothing other than His hand of protection.

Right after it happened, she called me at work.  “Mom, I just had a wreck.”  My brain obviously didn’t process that bit of information right away, as evidenced by my reply.  “What did you do that for?”  I expect a nomination for Mother of the Year any day now.

She did ask me later if was angry, and I told her it had never even crossed my mind to be angry.  I’m so thankful she wasn’t hurt.  I told her that she really needed to hit her knees and thank God, not only for His protection, but also for the wake up call.  Now would be a good time for her to take seriously all my warnings about using her cell phone or changing radio stations while driving.  No, she wasn’t distracted at the time of the wreck, but she was in a hurry because she was late coming to pick me up from work, and she was afraid I wouldn’t let her go hang out with her friends later.  There are many lessons to be learned from one split-second decision.

We went shopping at car lots last weekend, and I’m hopeful that our settlement will afford me a nicer, albeit 2 years older, mode of transportation.  If we are able to purchase the 2003 Altima, our insurance rate will go down, which will offset the rise resulting from adding a teen driver to our policy.

Also, the accident forced us to do necessary repairs on our Camry, which will be hers when she turns 18.  It’s almost 10 years old and has over 203,000 miles on it, but it’s a great car that will serve her well until she’s ready to buy one on her own.  And even though she’s now a higher insurance risk, she will be able to afford the liability coverage.

I just hope my “new” car will be as dependable as the Camry.

Praying your day is a good one!

Trusting the Lord

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6

I don’t understand how it could possibly be God’s will for my daughter to live apart from her mother and her sister.  It would make sense if she were being discipled or, at the very least, being encouraged to attend church.  It would make even more sense if she were making disciples or, at the very least, encouraging folks to attend church.  But she isn’t.  And because she knows that I will encourage her to pray and read her Bible and insist that she go to church, she’d rather not talk to me.  And I can’t imagine that this is how God planned it.

 And the thing is, it doesn’t matter whether I understand it or whether I like it.  He is sovereign, and nothing is beyond His control.  It is the way it is for whatever reason, and He may or may not choose to reveal that reason to me.  All I need to know is that He is faithful.  I can trust Him.

And I do.